You know you've been spending too much time on Internet forums when you go into the restroom at work, see the blue stuff in the toilet, and, in a whisper, exclaim, "First!"

The attached picture shows what is apparently a new load of aluminum siding bound for some poor guy's house. I assume this is what the load includes from reading the labels, "ALCOA Home Exteriors" on the boxes. Well, from reading the parts of the boxes that weren't yet mangled.

If you can't see the picture too clearly (sorry, but all I has was my phone), what you have there are boxes of aluminum siding strapped down over a pallet that only supports the middle of the long boxes, leaving the ends to fold downward, and also the boxes on top being squished by the staps.

Perhaps what we have here is a new product for mobile homes, to make them look like they already got hit by a tornado.

Pretty wild news these days.

Following the recent news about an anti-spanking bill being introduced into the Massachusetts legislature, I found this other piece of news about a protest:

FAUX FALLS, VT. - Carrying squirming children over their shoulders, hundreds of parental rights advocates showed up at the State House today and staged a "Spank-in," determined to make the general public aware of their objection to the new anti-spanking bill. After climbing the front steps of the building, each parent entered through the front doors and claimed a place in the lobby.

The marble walls of the vast, open room echoed first with their unified voices, chanting, "THIS IS GOING TO HURT ME MORE THAN IT'S GOING TO HURT YOU!" and "YOU JUST WAIT 'TILL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME!," and then the souds of crying children filled the room.

"I think this will get the message across," said one mother who spoke with our reporter following the event. "If it doesn't, then our representatives are going to get a free trip out behind the woodshed, if you know what I mean."

Another protester explained, "We see those spank-free kids all the time, hanging out at the mall and downtown, riding skateboards and calling each other 'dude' and saying crazy things like 'Oh, snap!' They should strive be more like the spanked kids, who are always at the library. They even open the doors for me when I come in."

Some passers-by watched in amazement, while others just moved by without paying attention. One observer quipped, "My feeling is that it's something that belongs in privacy. I don't know why I should have to see and hear them doing that here in a public building." Another responded supportively, saying, "Well, sometimes a kid needs to be spanked, and you can't wait until you get home."

It is not known whether or not the mayor would sign the bill, veto it, or just give it a time-out.

[ If you got this fair, I guess it's only fair to tell you that I made all that up! ]

It's time for Michigan to take back the land that Ohio stole from us back in 1837! It's not for the natural harbor, which was a nice thing to have back then, and it's not for the limestone quarries (our iron and copper mines say "meh" to that). Frankly, it's because they are obviously not fit stewards of this real estate and it's contents, as we can see by the outcome of the yesterday's elections.

There is a very fine children's hands-on science museum in Toledo, on the land that should have been part of Michigan, called COSI Toledo. Recently, they asked Lucas County citizens, a second time, for a small millage to keep the museum going, and, for the second time, they were denied. There are tons of us up here in Michigan who visit this museum several times every year (I even have my giant LEGO bridge on display down there), but since we couldn't vote in this election, all we could do is just sit on the sidelines watching the election results, hoping in vain that Lucas County citizens would come to their senses. Michigan citizens, of course, never would have let this happen, even though we're in the midst of new tax increases ourselves (we didn't get to vote on those... YET).

So, thanks to a 51% majority, my kids will no longer get to enjoy the Boy-yo, the roller coaster simulator, and the high-wire bicycle. Thanks for killing our fun, you tight-wad, anti-education, anti-fun sticks-in-the-mud!

Rally the troops! Grab your shovels! We'll meet down there tonight to dig up all the border signs and move them south!

(Note to any Buckeye fans living in this tract of land: you'll need to move further south after we annex this land, as you're not eligible for Michigan citizenship)

Woot.com is a cool site that sells one item every day. I've picked up some useful stuff from there at decent prices, but I've also bought some junk just because I wanted it (those motion-detecting oinking pigs, for example). There's a forum on the site, and apparently it's one of those Internet forums that actually has moderators, and, well, I was recently moderated.

I'm guessing the problem is that I asked if there were Linux drivers for the wine glasses, the power washer, the pocketknife, and the hot wings trays. Oh yeah, and the Oreck air purifier.

OK, so here I go with this daily blogging thing.

Last night was a pretty good Halloween in our neighborhood. The weather was nice, the homeowners were generous with the sugarized products, none of the teens who live on my street were delivered back home by the police (again), and there were only a couple prostitots.

I don't know what it is, but some kids have a need (as I did when I was young) to sort their candy after they get home. As soon as we got in the door, my kids dumped out their bags and started separating the contents into categorized piles: chocolate, caramel, chocolate/peanut butter combinations (my favorite), hard candy, gummy products, Sweet Tart-like items, non-food items, etc. No cans of pop this year, which my kid got very upset about a couple years ago; it's one of those things that on any other day of the year it would have been happily received. I guess the idea of sorting is to weed-out the stuff they don't want. My oldest kid engaged in re-gifting (a practice usually reserved for Christmas) by giving his undesirable items to the trick-or-treaters who were still coming around. At that late hour, it was mostly the older kids.

By the way, how old is too old for trick-or-treating anyway? We discussed this annual topic this morning at the office. My feeling is that if you're old enough to have a driver's license or to shave, it's time to give it up. However, there seems to be one exception to this: if you take the time to come up with a creative costume, you can get away with it. After we got back to our house, I went out to sit on the chair out front (after all, it was a nice evening) to watch the "big kids" come around. There were some pretty good costumes out there, which were countered only by the occasional lazy seventeen-year-old with a pillowcase dressed as a lazy seventeen-year-old with a pillowcase.

I did get out to do a little photography around the neighborhood. I forgot to take along my tripod, so a lot of my pictures didn't turn out, as I had a hard time holding the camera steady long enough for the longer shutter times. However, I did get a few nice ones, such as the one included here, my favorite of the night. You can click on it to see a bigger version of it.

I'm hoping whoever did this didn't get a license yet.

The other day I got a message from a Casting Producer for ABC's Wife Swap show.  She found me on LEGOFan.org, which is a site where LEGO hobbyists discuss our hobby. Yeah, I know -- GEEKS.  Anyway, she told me she was looking for, "... families who are avid adult Lego hobbyists."

The funny thing is that she's been trolling/spamming discussion forums all over the Internet looking for potentially quirky people who will subject their family to great conflict and confrontation for $20,000 and a few minutes of fame. Below is an entertaining sample of some of her posts; notice her pandering to each group like a bad politician.

• In the Roofing and Construction forum at roofing.com: "... I’m actually seeking parents, preferably moms, who are roofers. (It would be great to feature parents who aren’t afraid of hard work and getting their hands dirty!) "
• In the forum at RealityTVRules.com: "Do members of this forum know that perfect family that should be on the show? ... I am currently seeking families for our third season who embrace appearances, looking nice and the finer things in life!"
• In the Livestock and Farming forum at MotherEarthNews.com: "I’m actually seeking moms for our show who work with livestock. It would be great to feature a mom who’s not afraid of hard work and getting her hands dirty!"
• In a comment on Frugal Veggie Mama's blog at blogspot.com:  "I wanted to write to you after I came across your blog entry on ways to live frugally. Loved it! I am currently casting families for our third season and I thought you would be an ideal candidate. Showing a family with your values would be a positive influence on another family who spends money lavishly and wastefully."
• In the San Francisco Forum at Topix.net: "I am looking to feature a San Francisco family for our third season that enjoys shopping and spoiling the family with the finer things in life!"
• In the forum at TheMagicCafe.com: "I am looking to feature a family on our show with one or all family members who work in the circus for our third season."
• In the forum at 2Old2Play.com ("The Older Gamer's Paradise"): "...currently looking for families that have any or all members who love and/or are addicted to playing video games. Time to show the world why we love gaming!"
• In the Republican Forum at simpilot.net: "I am looking to feature a family on our show with good morals and conservative values. As an avid Republication myself, I would like to share the lifestyle of a conservative family with the national public."
• In the General Video Games Discussion forum at RottenTomatoes.com: "I saw you on NintenDojo. I am currently looking for families that have any or all members who love playing video games. I would like to show the world that gamering [sic] doesn’t equal violence, that that family can actually bond and grow closer through gaming!"
• In the forum at 1Branson.com (A web site about Branson, Missouri): "ABC’s hit show Wife Swap is seeking Branson families for the third season!"
• In the forum at XBoxOverheating.com: "I am currently looking for families that have any or all members who love playing Xbox. Time to show the world that families can actually bond and grow closer through gaming!"
• In the Freebies & Contest section of the forum at BargainShare.com: "I am looking to feature a family on our show who have the “hangout” house. Specifically, this house is Fun and laid-back, The kids are allowed to have sleepovers, friends over, etc, The kids run the household, Mom does the chores (ie. cooking, cleaning, shopping)"
• In the Balloon Entertainer's Post & Tips forum at mbd2.com: "I would like to feature a family on our show with one or all family members who work as professional clowns!"
• In the Belly Dance forum at OrientalDancer.com: "I am looking to feature a family on our show with one or all family members belly dance!"
• In the forum at Families.com: "I am currently looking for families that hold high standards in education (ie. Ivy league for the children) and are involved in associations of excellence (either parents or children). Showing a family with those values would be a positive influence on the American public!"
• In the message boards at PartyPop.com: "ABC's hit show Wife Swap is seeking fun, unique, interesting and quirky families and it's members for our third season!"
• In the forums at CSCDRA.com (Central States Compact Drag Racing Association): "I am interested in featuring families where one or all family members are drag racers. Female and teen drag racers would be ideal, though my search is not limited to those scenarios."
• In the Vampyre forums at Darkness.com: "I would like to feature a family on our show who is a non-mainstream, non-traditional family and share their way of life. Thought this site would be a great way to meet potential applications who would be willing to share their gothic/satanical/vamyrical lifestyle."
• In the forums at Discovery.com (The Discovery Channel): "I’m seeking moms for our show who work in "dirty jobs". It would be great to feature a mom who’s not afraid of hard work and getting her hands dirty!"
• In the forums at iTulip.com (The Contrary Market View): "... looking to feature a family on the show who is non-mainstream, anti-consumerist and anti-materialist, to share their way of life and raise awareness on how people can reduce waste in their everyday lives."
• In the Denver Broncos forum at TheRedZone.org: "I am currently looking for families that love and are addicted to football. As a born and raised Coloradoan, I am biased I would love to have a Denver Bronco family on, and show some nationwide love for the Big Orange."
• In the forums at the Web sire for the 11th At-home Dad Convention: "I am seeking families for our third season with SAHD [Stay at home dads] and career moms."
• In the Talk About Your Kids forum at GamerDads.com: "I am currently looking for families that have any or all members who love playing video games. Time to show the world why we love gaming!"
• In the forums at SENGifted.org (Supporting Educational Needs of the Gifted): "I am currently looking for families anywhere along the lines of the following: holding high standards in education, involved in associations of excellence (either parents or children), and/or children who are leaders in some way (gifted and talented)." She also added, "... our intentions would be to match them with families that may not emphasize those values and could learn from this family."

You just have to love reality TV, eh?

This is how a "Block M" should really be built - WITH BLOCKS!  The LEGO builders in this household are very clear about their favorite for Big 10 and National Champion...

GO BLUE!!!

(click on the picture to see a bigger one!)

And in fairness to the other side, here's a very clever creation by a Buckeye fan (who lives in Michigan... that must create a serious identity crisis!)...

As foreshadowed in a previous post on this blog, I recently gave a quick talk about dasBlog (the blogging engine on which this blog runs). At one point during the talk I compared blogging with MySpace, using a Letterman-esque Top-n list to explain why MySpace is not blogging. So, here we go...

Top 5 Reasons Why Blogging Is Better than MySpace:

5. Tom.
4. Blogging is literature, MySpace is drivelature.
3. No strange phone calls from Dateline NBC.
2. Trackback? Blogroll? Sure. Add you to my Friends list? Go away.

.. and my personal favorite, which is why it's #1:

1. If you're too old for trick-or-treat, you're too old for MySpace.

For about three Saturdays now I've been taking my kid to swimming leessons at a pool here in Ann Arbor. While his lesson is going on in one part of the pool, people are swimming laps in another part. It took three weeks, but I finally realized I really should get off my behind and get in there myself, rather than sitting on the bench playing the mini golf game on my mobile phone.

But that's not what this is about. What it is about (and this certainly won't be the last post on this subject) is how screwy and obscenely politically-correct this town is.

So, the fourth Saturday, there I am with my swim suit and goggles, ready to get some exercise. After seeing my kid get to his lesson in his part of the pool, I head down to the other end of the pool, where there are three little signs, telling people, with graphic illustrations, how to swim lengths: when there are one or two swimmers in a lane you go back and forth, but when there are three of more you have to do circles so you don't bash heads. You have to explain obvious stuff like this to people these days. Also on these signs are indicators that are supposed to help you decide which lane you should use, based on your speed. They are labeled:

"Quick (formerly slow)," "Quicker (formerly medium)" and "Quickest (formerly fast)".

I'm thought to myself, "Hey, this is great! It's been years since I got off my behind to exercise, and I'm still 'Quick!'" I made a comment about this to an older gentleman who was also getting ready to jump in, and he added, "Yeah, it's great. One day I was 'slow,' and the next day I come here and all of a sudden I'm 'quick.' Just like that, overnight!"

This whole thing is pretty funny until you think about it a little more. You just know the reason it changed from slow/medium/fast to quick/quicker/quickest is that somebody complained about being labeled 'slow.' Well, let me give it to you plain and simple: if you're swimming in the same lane as me, you're slow!

I keep getting all this spam email with "joanetta clowney" in the subject line. It's not just a couple a day, it's dozens. And it's for all sorts of things... mortgages, pharmaceuticals, all the standards. But the amazing thing is that nobody else I talk to gets these things. Do the spammers use a different name for each recipient, just to mix it up, so that there's somebody else out there who's getting dozens of emails every day with the name "Freddy Inkelpinkelstein" in the subject line?

It's only a step above the ones I get that have a substitution tag like ##RANDOM_ENGLISH_WORD## in there. Some loser really got his money's worth for that one didn't he?