For about three Saturdays now I've been taking my kid to swimming leessons at a pool here in Ann Arbor. While his lesson is going on in one part of the pool, people are swimming laps in another part. It took three weeks, but I finally realized I really should get off my behind and get in there myself, rather than sitting on the bench playing the mini golf game on my mobile phone.

But that's not what this is about. What it is about (and this certainly won't be the last post on this subject) is how screwy and obscenely politically-correct this town is.

So, the fourth Saturday, there I am with my swim suit and goggles, ready to get some exercise. After seeing my kid get to his lesson in his part of the pool, I head down to the other end of the pool, where there are three little signs, telling people, with graphic illustrations, how to swim lengths: when there are one or two swimmers in a lane you go back and forth, but when there are three of more you have to do circles so you don't bash heads. You have to explain obvious stuff like this to people these days. Also on these signs are indicators that are supposed to help you decide which lane you should use, based on your speed. They are labeled:

"Quick (formerly slow)," "Quicker (formerly medium)" and "Quickest (formerly fast)".

I'm thought to myself, "Hey, this is great! It's been years since I got off my behind to exercise, and I'm still 'Quick!'" I made a comment about this to an older gentleman who was also getting ready to jump in, and he added, "Yeah, it's great. One day I was 'slow,' and the next day I come here and all of a sudden I'm 'quick.' Just like that, overnight!"

This whole thing is pretty funny until you think about it a little more. You just know the reason it changed from slow/medium/fast to quick/quicker/quickest is that somebody complained about being labeled 'slow.' Well, let me give it to you plain and simple: if you're swimming in the same lane as me, you're slow!